Serving Vs. Needing

Serving Vs. Needing

iStock_000015517876XSmallWhy did you decide to get married? When you decided that your spouse was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, what was it that influenced that decision most?

Did you decide you wanted to love, support, and serve your spouse, or did you decide you couldn’t live without your spouse because he or she fulfilled some deep need that you had? Is there a difference? Absolutely.

Because we know that marriage was designed to represent the relationship between Christ and the church, we can look to that relationship to learn where our focus should be. If we’re honest with ourselves, it is really quite simple.

Christ loves the Church because Love is Who He Is. The relationship between Christ and the Church is not based on what Christ can gain from the church. Love is not about self. Love is about others.

Take a close look at your marriage. More importantly, take a closer look at your attitude toward your marriage. Are you looking for ways your spouse “should” be serving you? Or, are you looking for ways you might be able to minister and show love to your spouse?

Sometimes a change in focus can make all the difference in the world.

How can you choose to show love to your spouse today?


Keri Kitchen is a devoted wife and mother, blogger, author of Love Isn’t Selfish, licensed mental health counselor, and founder of The Carys Rainn Foundation. To read more about what God is doing in her life, visit her blog at

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