Husbands: Love, Wives: Respect

Husbands: Love, Wives: Respect

Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.

Love… Respect…

So many instructions that I read when trying to put racetracks, a new bike, or furniture together around my house can be totally confusing. I recently had to convert my son’s bed from a crib to a full size bed, and there were absolutely no instructions at all – just a picture. Eventually, I figured it out and his bed looks just like the picture, with the exception of a few left over bolts and a piece that I have no idea where it is supposed to go.

Thankfully, God gives us instruction regarding marriage that is much more straightforward than the instructions you get for assembling a tv stand. In Ephesians 5:33, God cuts down all the instruction of how husbands and wives should treat each other to a simple statement.

Husbands, love their wives like they love themselves. Wives, respect their husbands. 

That is pretty simple, and very straightforward. We love and we respect. Sounds so simple doesn’t it? But what do these two simple statements look like – in real life. Here are my thoughts:

Husbands, love their wives like they love themselves.

  • A husband does not disrespect himself, nor allow others to do so. Likewise he shows his wife respect.
  • He doesn’t allow others to talk rudely or roughly to him either. Likewise he communicates lovingly with his wife.
  • He protects his wife at all costs and at every turn.
  • He listens, because he cares. 
  • He provides and takes care of his wife, with her best interest in view.
  • He forgives and set’s aside who is right or wrong.
  • He seeks to live at peace with his wife – every possible time.

Wives, respect their husbands. 

Ok, I had a long list of how a wife should respect her husband. But wisdom kicked in and I quickly deleted every single one of them. LOL.

So wives, jump in, how do you think a wife shows respect to her husband?

Husbands, please jump in too. How do you love your wife, how do you want to be loved?

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6 thoughts on “Husbands: Love, Wives: Respect

  1. Sarah

    I know for me, I have a long way to go in this department. I feel a deep respect for my husband but I have a difficult time showing it. I can tell you that I am making more of an effort to listen to my husband, to not pick at things he does that I may not like. I am trying to stop interrupting him when he speaks and avoid putting down his ideas and dreams. I am trying to let go of the need to control and to submit to him… giving him the chance to lead in love.
    Just a few things… I am interested in the things you as a husband would like your wife to do or not do out of respect for you.

  2. Edward

    1. Don’t belittle me in front of the kids.
    2. Listen to my advice
    3. Things that are my responsibility are my responsibility – don’t even think about them.

    You have inspired me to re-post an article that I wrote a year ago for another site.

  3. JULIE

    I can honestly say this post has me in tears. Our family is SO FAR from this at this point. We have a very disrespectful and rebellious 18 year old daughter and there is NO respect and very little love going on around here right now. I feel that she needs to be kicked out now that she is 18. She is affecting the behavior of her younger brother and much younger sister. My husband does not agree – he says that he will always provide a place for his children to live. Yet she will call him an idiot and tell him that she will never respect him. I just don’t know if there is any salvation for our marriage at this point because I feel like I must remove myself and my youngest child from this chaotic situation.

    At any rate – I can honestly say – that any person who treated me the way you listed your instructions out – I would have no trouble respecting them – because they are respecting me. I think the biggest thing – is to consider others before yourself.

    But it really takes 2 because in our situation – I am really feeling like a door mat in this thing and I know I have had my moments when the criticism has pushed me to the breaking point of not being able to be respectful.

  4. Edward

    Julie – Perhaps you and your husband can get some time away together? Just time to talk and think things through away from the kids so that you can reconnect with each other and come away from the time together on the same page.
    I will be praying with you guys that God will hold things together and give you both insight on how to go forward

  5. JULIE

    Thanks Edward. Your response means a lot. I think we will try that. Our oldest makes it impossible to talk because if we disagree – she turns it into something you can’t even imagine – and we never get to continue talking and come to something agreeable. We think she has some hormonal issues because she is worse when she is going to get her period – but she refuses to go to the doctor and now that she is 18 we don’t feel like we can force her. So this is where my frustration lies in saying, in my heart, I believe she needs to be told to find a place and move out because her presence is too disruptive to the younger children. She is not a step-child either for either of us – we have both only ever been married to each other – so there is no blended family situation. My husband thinks I am a terrible mother because I want this and I have told him that I believe she needs some tough love because what we are doing now is not working.

  6. SJM

    “Ok, I had a long list of how a wife should respect her husband. But wisdom kicked in and I quickly deleted every single one of them.

    That was a wise choice. I think the list for husbands to love should be as long, in fact, the list is never-ending. As far as respect, this goes both ways and the 3 things on your list applies to women as well. I don’t think a woman would not care if her husband disrespected her in front on the kids or you not taking her advice as well, etc.

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