The day after Christmas is always a great family day – for us. The whole family is off, my son is still wrapped up in his new toys and my wife and I are relaxed. All of which makes it a great night. So, this year, we put our son to bed early, rented a movie and just spent some quality time together. For us, a good movie is a great way to talk and get into each other’s heads and hearts a little bit. So, we checked out The Words. The reviews were not good, but the cast of Bradley Cooper, Dennis Quaid, Jeremy Irons and Zoe Saldana was enticing. Plus, as a writer, a movie about a writer intrigued me. Well, don’t worry I am not going to give the movie away, but I do suggest that you look past the negative reviews and check this film out. What we found was a great story about a man, a husband, that felt pressure to impress his wife and provide for them – even if it meant lying. It is something I used to think about when I worked in the corporate world. At work we see people as…whatever unfavorable labels we attach or boxes we put them in. But, in their home is a wife, a husband, children…that bare the consequence of their actions. In the movie, the consequence of this husband’s actions bring a pain to his wife that deeply impacts their marriage and hinders their future together. His lie, wipes out the spoils of success that he sold himself to get. In essence, his entire life and marriage are changed and the movie’s dangling end makes you wonder if their marriage can ever be right again. I guess I connect with that because as a husband I am always concerned that whatever ventures or actions that I get involved in outside of the home does not knock on my door and impact my wife and children negatively. Don’t be surprised that I saw a biblical couple in all of this. Two actually, and they both include King David. When Nabal foolishly rejected to help David, he brought potential danger to his home and marriage. But also, when David committed adultery with, Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba, it cost Uriah his life. In both cases, choices were made, that just like in our own marriage, impact our marriage and bring consequences that we have to live with. Some things can not be undone and the decision is then to find the strength to fight through it. Funny thing is, these twists and turns are not written in the script that we read before we got married. The unexpected turns of our marriage, are just that – unexpected. They by their nature will catch us off guard and knock the wind out of us. But the truth is that in marriage, the existence of unexpecteds becomes expected. Our marriage’s will be hit by things that we don’t see coming. But as the wife in The Words, played by Zoe Saldana, Nabal’s wife Abigail and Bathsheba’s husband Uriah remind us, when life, through our spouse or other circumstance throws our marriage into points of uncertainty and severe change, the choice we are left with is to stand with them. It is never easy. It is never a matter of just choosing A or B – stay or leave. But there always is so much more in the mix. Personally, there have been a few passages that have helped me through unexpected times in my marriage.
- The Lord is my Shepherd… Psalms 23
- He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. Psalms 91
- For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. Isaiah 55:8