Christian Men and Sexual Frustration

Christian Men and Sexual Frustration

Man PrayingIt truly is everyman’s battle! It does not matter what a man’s persuasion is – rich or not, from the South, North, Westside or up North, married or single, black, white, Latino, Asian, African, and it certainly does not matter if he is a Christian or not – everyman is susceptible to either those passing or the long term bouts with “sexual frustration”. Yet, in the church, how a man copes with his “battle” is rarely if ever discussed. The silence or lack of real open dialogue leads to men either suffering alone in silence or adopting solutions that don’t consider Christ.

At EYM, we focus on living “Elevated” marriages and lives, where we look “up” to Christ as we live through our lives here on earth. So, let’s talk about it, how do Christian husbands (and their wives) handle a common challenge to all men with the uncommon strength and wisdom of Christ?

What is Sexual Frustration?

When I refer to sexual frustration, I am speaking of the frustration, depression or generally irritable state that anyone can find themselves in, when their sexual expectations or “needs” are not met. Although, we are talking about the fight a man goes through, women can also struggle with being sexually unfulfilled. However, it is fair to say, men seem to struggle more frequently and perhaps even more intensely in this area. Whether it has been a few weeks or years, there is a real fight that occurs when a man is not having sex as often as he believes he ought to. It is a fight that can lead to paths that put a man face to face with everything from depression to anger to forms of sexual immorality – such as infidelity and pornography.

The reasons for why a man is “challenged”, range from physical/biological reasons to emotional to relationship concerns, and in the end – regardless of cause or reasons – a man has to take a Christ centered approach to fighting this fight. 

I am not a doctor or psychologist, so I am not going to get into why it is or where sexual frustration comes from, at the level of a trained professional. However, as a man for 41 years, with a pretty diverse array of male friends at different points of life, I feel comfortable in saying that sexual frustration is real, the places that a man’s mind goes are real and if not taken head on, sexual frustration can destroy a marriage as well as a man’s credibility. So here are a few things that the Christian man can do, to fight the fight of faith to their God and their wife at times of sexual frustration.

  1. Prayer. If it seems like to every problem prayer is somewhere in the discussion, you are correct. Prayer is the most powerful weapon that we have as Christians when facing the most powerful problems. Prayer does not make anything just go away. However, if a man starts praying and he is  angry with his wife because they are not having sex enough, prayer may change his feelings, but it may not. What prayer does do, is allow us to see God in our challenges and line us up with God. Sometimes prayers are the end point of our struggle. Other times, prayer is a bridge that gets us through the struggle. And honestly, we don’t know which is which when we are in the middle of the storm. Just keep praying 1 day to 20 years – just keep praying.
  2. Read the Bible. Another common offering. But again, it is what God gave us to get through this life. Coming across a passage that says, Greater is he that is in me, than he that is in the world, on a day when the girl in the office is flirting and your wife is preoccupied with a big project at work, might just save your marriage. Knowing and having the word in time of life’s frustrations, comes from reading the word of God. Your word I have treasured in my heart,That I may not sin against You. Psalms 119:11
  3. Be Honest. I find that many men keep their wife in the dark – way too long. A man’s wife is to be his best friend, but not his mind reader. Tell her that you struggle with temptation, fantasies, pornography, etc…when the two of you don’t have sex frequently. It in no way moves the blame to the wife. A man is still responsible for his own actions. The point is to put it on the table, admit it, so there is an opportunity to deal with it together, side be side, not alone in dark shadows.
  4. Talk in terms of x+y = z. This is something that I picked up from Dr’s. Les and Leslie Parrott’s DVD, Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. It basically goes like this, “When you do “x” + “y”, it makes me feel “z”. For example, when we don’t have sex on a regular basis (x), I begin to struggle with pornography (y) and it makes me feel angry or depressed (z). Again, this does not place the fault on the wife, but it is the concrete information that your wife needs to come by her husband’s side and walk with him through the problem.
  5. Be wise. Your temptation and depression will be at it’s highest when your frustration is also at it’s highest. Remember the old G.I. Joe cartoon character that would say, now you know and knowing is half of the battle. In the same way, knowing that when your frustrations grow and emotions toward your wife start changing, it won’t be long before a challenge is going to jump on your back like 2 tons of bricks, and knowing this is half of the battle. Godly wisdom is knowing that these are the times to become more entrenched in your relationship with Christ – read the Bible and pray more  – arm yourself.
  6. Get surrounded with other men. Admitting that you and your wife are not having sex as often as you like, is typically not that shocking to other men (or women either), it is the sentiment of quite a few men from time to time. It does not make us, less of a man, instead the man that stops hiding behind their frustration just might find strength in other like minded, strong men of faith.  Find or form an accountability group that is a place, that you can just say what the real deal is, without worry about judgement, chastisement or it being retold. Find men that you can trust, it does not have to be a formal group. But there has to be an established agreement about boundaries in place – never to be broken.
  7. Ask God to Deal With It. I mentioned prayer at the start. But there is a specific conversation with God that needs to be had. If we men could deal with bouts of sexual frustration on our own, we would have – long ago. Ask God to take away the urges and to provide strength to stay in line with His will for you. Sexual frustration feels like, life is out of control. But God has control over all things, even our enemies and sources of our weaknesses… check out Isaiah 54:16-17 “Behold, I Myself have created the smith who blows the fire of coals And brings out a weapon for its work; And I have created the destroyer to ruin. “ No weapon that is formed against you will prosper; And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, And their vindication is from Me,” declares the Lord.

Again, sexual frustration doesn’t discriminate, it knocks on every man’s door, but a man in Christ has the armor of Christ on his side – use it. Only God can give a man strength to maintain integrity and fidelity to his spouse and God. It is a fight, so fight the good fight of faith.

How about you EYM, how do you think that a relationship with Christ empowers a man to overcome the emotional and physical challenges during times of sexual frustration?

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35 thoughts on “Christian Men and Sexual Frustration

  1. Brenda

    Wrong wrong wrong! If a man discusses with his wife his need for more sex and she doesn’t do anything to change it, IT IS HER FAULT. A man shouldn’t have to ask God to take away a natural need that isn’t being met. That’s like telling a starving child to pray that he’ll not be hungry anymore. WOMEN NEED TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE OR ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES!

      1. WH

        OOOOOH so wrong, Beryl. It’s actually you that has blaming mentality; except in your case, it’s blame the male for a sex drive. Or more accurately, NEVER blame the female. And Christian marriages will continue to fail more often than they succeed, with lack of sex the #1 issue for men…but don’t ever accuse the wife, let’s give her a free pass.

  2. Edward

    Thank you so much for your comment! I love it! I do stand by the point of the article that it’s the man’s responsibility to remain faithful to God regardless of the situation. Not getting enough sex is not an excuse to cheat or checkout of the marriage! Every man would love to be able to command&demand of his wife. But here are 3 scenarios that all of a husbands demands will have little to no change on their wife. (1) Chemical/Hormonal imbalance effecting libido (2) physical disability, i.e. wheel chair bound (3) physical distance – she’s out of town for work or deployed overseas for military service. I agree with you that in some cases it might be a matter of “stepping up” but in so many other cases it is much deeper than that. In neither case is the man’s desire going away. So the point remains, whatever the case – the man has strength in God to remain faithful to his vows to God and his wife. Thanks again for your voice on this topic!

    1. WH

      Edward, women must love your article because you give the ONLY person a Christian man can express his God-given desires to a free pass in regards to sex. We should be complimenting Brenda, not refuting what she says. Think about it – if every Christian wife held herself responsible for meeting her husband’s needs, how many divorces or affairs would there be? Virtually none! Her example of trying to pray-away a man’s desires is apt. You sure have clear responsibilities for the Christian husband, what do you think a wife’s sexual responsibilities are to her husband…none?

      1. Edward

        WH – the point of the article was to find strength in Christ regardless of the situation (the why). That is what it means to “Elevate” your marriage – to look above to Christ. Too often we allow the circumstance to dictate behavior. This is not about why a husband and wife are not fulfilling each other’s needs – rather how to handle the feelings – whatever the cause. From illness, to trust issues, to not in the mood – it still manifests as frustration and a man needs the strength of Christ to endure.

  3. Vernon

    If we get real honest here. It does not matter how many times our wives make love to us. We will never be satisfied. What we need to get honest about is are we putting to much stock into that area of our relationship. We waited before they became our wives, so know we own them? And will have a sucker attack if they don’t? Long as they aren’t trying to control us we should be cool. It’s better when they coming on to us anyway I think

  4. Toni

    The word of God tells the woman to be available to her husband so he won’t turn to another. Marriage is two people coming together as one and we have to be sensitive to each other needs, wants and desires. Its easy to say pray about even the sexual relationship between husband and wife. The truth is that’s not happening. Along with prayer in a christian marriage God need to be even in the marriage bed. We have to pray that we are desirous to our spouses and that God helps us as wives and husbands even in our marriage.

  5. Dee

    This is a good article. The major concern here is the role that the church has or has not played in relational matters. I think it is ironic that the pastors/preachers will preach against fornication,but do not spend time talking about being sexually liberation while married. We have been lectured and preached at for so long about how bad sex is that churches do not spend time building the family. Statistically, the divorce rate for christian marriages is higher than non-believers, and the church has remained silent.

    In addition, I am glad the article mention that women are or can be sexually frustrated as well. Men stress and internalize a lot of things which often can impact his desire. When a man is feeling like this it does not suggest he is cheating or does not desire his wife, but that there may be something deeper going on.

    Sex is a GIFT (a wonderful gift) that God has designed for husband and wife to enjoy, and to produce. I think when two people grow deeper in love even if “sex” is not taking place (due to health, age, etc.) intimacy should never end.

    Both men and women should consider the needs (desires and wants) of their spouse, as their bodies are no longer theirs. My husband and I have fun with our coming together, and it starts (for us) with flirting (with each other) throughout the day.

    1. Edward

      @Dee thanks so much for your thoughtful input. The church does play a part in how we think about this issue. It is something that every marriage runs across yet no body wants to actually acknowledge or talk about it. Thank God for the gift – LOL.

  6. Guest

    I have prayed before to desire my husband some days Im tired when he is in the mood and im not. But wants its on then that passion kicks in then it ok from there.

  7. Pingback: 49 BEST Sex and Marriage Posts of 2012 | Intimacy in Marriage

  8. GG

    I have found the book “Married Man Sex Life” to be very helpful. It is not a Christian book, but has principles that Christian men can use. I really think that Christians are taking the wrong approach to this, or are not going far enough in their approach. The steps you laid out are good, but in my opinion they are not enough. Many people don’t understand how female sexual desire works and the things that make women sexually interested in a man (ideally, their husbands). Those things have been “trained out” of us in our culture. This book really opened my eyes to a lot of things I did not understand. Christians cannot apply everything that the book suggests, but can apply a lot of it. Many of the same points are explained on the blog by the same name, in the early 2010 posts. I would say to husbands who are very frustrated, “What do you have to lose?”

  9. DaveAM

    This article offers very little in terms of dealing with a selfish spouse who will not regularly provide their conjugal duties. These tips can help with the death or sickness of a spouse, but you must handle sin differently. In short they must be gently rebuked so they can repent. Here’s a cliff’s notes version on how to really handle it: 1) Tell her. Make sure you include all of the juicy details about how her behavior has made you feel. Ask her to respond to everything you just said. Remember not to use a demanding spirit. 2) Make her read the beginning of 1 Cor 7 to you. Ask her specifically what she thinks God is saying with the phrase “your body is not your own.” 3) Ask her to read James 2:14-26 to you. Ask her does she think this applies to sex in a marriage as well (answer: it does). If these first 3 do not make a difference in her demeanor then congratulations you are either unequally yoked or married to an unbeliever. How to proceed from here is to continue to hold up your end of the marriage outline given in the bible. Continue to express your frustration to her through words. She needs to really know what her actions are doing to you. Call her up throughout the day and tell her when frustration hits. Tell her what situations you are in and what is happening. Are you being tempted? Tell her and ask her to pray for you to endure these temptaions. If after some time she is STILL not having sex with you I would legitimately consider her an unbeliever and she has abandoned you. I would file divorce. She will have no misconceptions about why because you have been communicating with her with a quiet spirit asking her to be a wife. She just refuses to.

    1. Edward

      @DaveAM – In whatever the approach we have to use prayer and wisdom from the Holy Spirit on how to handle whatever we face. Your approach is different than mine, but you have to do what God is leading you to do. I would be concerned about demeaning or belittling my wife and pushing her further away. That is why it takes a diversity of views – so thanks for sharing.

      1. DaveAM

        @Edward: I’m not marginalizing prayer or the power of the Spirit at all, nor am I speaking of demeaning my wife. God calls us to obedience and our behaviors directly affect the effectiveness of our prayers and blessings received. I see this as clearly an obedience topic because God detailed out how husbands and wives are supposed to treat one another. I am saying to simply communicate with her. Demeaning would come across in your attitude or approach. IMO this is something you should be very direct and truthful about. I don’t know why you think that communicating your feelings or frustrations to your wife would push her away. I have yet to meet a woman that has a problem communicating her feelings back. Try it and be direct. You might be surprised at the results. It’s your right as a husband.

        1. Edward

          Hey Dave I truly appreciate the conversation! I keep following up, because I feel it is something that needs this kind of open dialogue that we are having, and perhaps it is a blessing to others.

          I was motivated to write this post by watching a few husbands that are in marriage’s where sex is physically impossible. The challenges, urges or temptations to those husbands are no different than that of the husband with a physically able wife. In whatever the case that a couple is not having sex – be it physical, emotional, mental, childhood, or abuse – there is help in Christ. Communicating your feelings to a wife that is wheel chair bound, or physically unable to have sex probably won’t change the situation. The husband still has to find inner strength to shift his perspective…
          Thanks again for the dialogue.

          1. DaveAM

            Hi Edward. I don’t see mention of physical disability in the article. I’m sorry for the mixup.

        2. DaveAM

          I also see this as a problem more prevalent in today’s church. I’m speaking about spiritual leaders who don’t urge others to follow in the examples set before them. I read all of Paul’s letters in the bible and I can see the love and passion, but it has no shortage of rebuke, exhortation, and “delivering unto Satan.” I look in today’s modern church and I don’t see ANY of this going on. Where is the public rebuke and discipline? More often than not complete disobedience is met with “just pray for them” and brush it under the rug. This type of leadership carries over into marriages as well. With men as the spiritual leaders of the family, you are supposed to do this as well! This is why one of the qualifications of being an elder is to manage your household well because this is where you learn to do this! Jesus did not only leave us with a book of words to live by and sentiments, but of authority, power, and stewardship. I think so many people see correction and exhortation as signs of conflict or as a lack of love. This is an attack from Satan I believe. A lie perpetrated on TV that has set this mindset. You can exercise authority in a loving way. You are acting in love when you do it!

          1. Beryl

            @DavidAM, you may not realize it, but the Bible is not all about a man lording over and being domineering to his wife, just because he is man.

            Have you ever read about all the responsibilities that a husband has?
            Maybe if the man started out as the servant leader that God has instructed him to be, then he would have a desires to openly communicate with his wife, and not shut down so he can cheat and blame her later, because he is HEAD of the house and leader over women. Women’s vag_____ are soooo different from their husbands’ pe_____. Men still do not understand. Women do not deliberately hold back on intimacy, it just takes different techniques to get us started and to get to the thrill that you all, already have as ready,set, go. :)
            Men get too caught up in those few words in the Bible about head, leader, submit. There is more to a marriage than that.
            Read what Edward writes and observe how a man should speak about men, women, and marriage. Edward, seems to be a real man of God. I am a woman and I enjoy reading his comments because usually men speak with mean spirited, demaning words to women on these marriage blogs. I hope that he is geniune.

  10. Edward

    @DaveAM – In whatever the approach we have to use prayer and wisdom from the Holy Spirit on how to handle whatever we face. Your approach is different than mine, but you have to do what God is leading you to do. I would be concerned about demeaning or belittling my wife and pushing her further away. That is why it takes a diversity of views – so thanks for sharing.

  11. Zachery Hrdlicka

    Since the invention of the printing press non-fictional literature has been used for the dissemination of the Christian message, and also for disseminating different viewpoints within Christianity. The tract (a small pamphlet containing an explanation of some point, or an appeal to the reader) was in use at the time of the Reformation and continues to be used as a part of proselytization.;

    Most recently released write-up on our own blog

  12. Beryl

    It has been said to men, over and over again, but men do not or will not listen. Women’s sexual desires are so very different from men’s. Sex is not a priority to us, but we do it with you all anyway.(exceptions to every rule) and(some women will not allow this label placed on them).

    Men, pleaase know that certain acts or preliminaries need to be done before a woman will desire sex. By now men should believe this revelation, since we women have said it over and over again.
    By now it seems that men would hear us and do what it takes to get the woman fired up about sex. In the meantime, each frustrated man should sit down and talk to his wife with no person around. Be willing to be open and honest with her and stop shutting down on your wife. Neither partner should be acting like a cold, distant, pouty child and close up emotionally.

    1. WH

      Hey, Beryl – women cannot expect that all their sexual encounters will be as romantic as a Julia Roberts movie. Women most certainly DO withhold sex from their husbands (aren’t you reading these posts?). It’s YOU blaming the man when the wife refuses sex. Many a man pays the bills, remains faithful, is a great father just to have his wife put sex on the back burner because she’s just not interested as much as she is. Oh and then she blames her husband for looking at a pretty girl when she’s denied hi the affection he is entitled to as her Christian husband. I am truly in awe that this “blame the male for his sex drive” attitude still persists in modern day Christianity. I’m pretty sure the husbands of the wives that think that way are pretty darned unnecessarily frustrated, as well as easy prey for affairs and pornography. All preventable, by the way, if wives would quit making excuses and feed their hungry husbands. As a 30-year married man whose wife makes love to me whenever I ask, I can tell you that I am affair-proof because I have a great sex life with my spouse. A hungry man does not steal food.

  13. Heather

    I really believe this amazing post , “Christian Men and Sexual Frustration | Elevate Your Marriage”, very pleasurable plus the post was indeed
    a very good read. Thanks a lot,Nannette

  14. Mason

    After reading all these comments I’m more confused than before. I tried communicating to my wife about my sexual frustration but she told me that I’m free to go find satisfaction elsewhere. She refuses to talk about it and even when I suggested we have it at least once a week she called me a sex addict?!!!? Now she actively encourages us to watch random pastors on TV in the evening so I can get help controlling my desires. I’ve prayed about this on a daily basis but as soon as I finish praying I’m still angry and frustrated. I really don’t know what to do. I don’t think this woman loves me. She just enjoys the status of being a married woman. She hates it when I touch suggestively and says I pressure her. I give up, I don’t think I have what it takes to stay in a marriage where I’m the only affectionate one.

    1. Steve

      I am in the same boat. I do everything for her in an effort to find favor in her eyes, but there is nothing there. It has been over four years since we were last together. I have just shifted the relationship to different ground. I try to focus on our friendship and our children so that I do not fall into bitterness as often. Through almost constant prayer the Lord has given me victory over the desire of being intimate. It isn’t a perfect solution, but we don’t live in a perfect world and divorce is such a destructive thing. I am unwilling to lose my friend over something that she just cannot bring herself to do in our marriage. You are not alone and through Christ you can stick it out.

      1. Edward Post author

        Great comments! You are demonstrating a level of spiritual faith and priority that is uncommon. Praying God’s strength and grace over your marriage.

  15. DMartin

    OK, Paul told young men to get married because it is supposedly a way to control their lust and express their sex drive. That logically makes getting married an obligation to the wife to satisfy the man’s normal sexual desires. Normal, whatever that is, but it’s more than once a month, OK?? Lot’s more, read any research on normal male sex drive and it’s at least 2-3 times per week. You get hungry you get to eat and no one thinks you are a pervert or should deal with it…you get to eat. Biblically in other words sex is VERY important to the marriage and women who think or act otherwise are AGAINST God and the Bible not against their husband and any other reason or excuse is also anti-Biblical, an attempt to not face what God says that’s as plain as it gets. Paul would not have said what he said unless the Holy Spirit meant exactly what it says–it doesn’t require interpretation, it requires obedience. Men should get married and stay loyal, BUT the woman they marry should meet their needs from day one until death parts their ways. Amen.

  16. Carla

    I don’t know about other women but I enjoy having sex with my husband. Of course there are those nights where the fire isn’t ON because we’re both too tired, etc. but that doesn’t make either of us angry.

    I think men need to let their guard down and talk to their women instead of just getting angry, but at the same time women need to tap in to their feminine/sexual side more and really explore that side of them. I think it’s extremely hard for intimacy if both things are not occurring.

    As for men, don’t look at it like your woman ‘won’t put out and fulfill her duty’! Wow!! That’s the biggest mood killer! That’s NOT going to make your woman want to do it with you. Also, quit treating it like going to the bathroom. Take time out and really find out what your wife likes and how she wants it. She will do the same for you if she loves you.

    And woman, just because you’re a Christian wife doesn’t mean you lose all sense of your sexuality. If anything, having a Christian marriage liberates me sexually because I feel a deep connection with my husband through God, probably deeper than a relationship without God. So when having sex it’s a very spiritual act as well as so much FUN!

    This is all coming from a woman who has been married for 6 years with children and I still have sex twice a week on average. So if I feel this way towards sex, anyone can. No excuse! If there’s something wrong in the bedroom, there’s a definite deeper emotional issue that needs to be taken care of. Sex is the first thing to go in a marriage because it is expression. Once you stop expressing yourself, you run into problems.

    There is no handbook for situations like this because no two marriages are alike. That’s probably why the church shy’s away. On top of the fact that it’s a very personal subject. There’s no Christian way to have sex or number of how many times per month God is saying you need to do.

    Love covers a multitude of sins.

    Love is your answer and the answer to all things.

  17. Dammed for being normal

    In the grand scheme of things, I believe it all comes down to the fact that the church’s teaching is wrong, but those who uphold it refuse to admit it. If men are created as visual creatures who are more sexually inclined as opposed to their female counterparts, why are they being punished for their very nature? In reality this mindset is the same as stating that a woman will go to he’ll if she has a period; this is all just something that occurs inevitably through our biological make up! And what about single men? It is a sin if they have premarital sex. It is a sin if they masturbate. It is a sin if you get married but do not want kids. It is a sin if you get married and then divorce a wife who refuses your sexual needs. It is a sin to stay in said marriage but find release through someone else. Why ALL the guilt emphasis on sex with men. Also why is there still a stereotype that women are not as interested in sex, or never desire sex in the way that men do? Another teaching of guilt? I have had lots of female friends who can easily admit that they become as aroused in the same manner that guys do; they are not always scented candles and rose petals. I personally find it ridiculous that God would put such importance on how many times we get off in our life that He would overlook everything else and cast us into eternal fire. I also think that the “pray/read the bible to overcome your temptations” is laughable. Let’s put the shoe on the other foot: Ladies, pray/ read the bible to overcome your cramps! In the end, every human being in every different walk of life needs some form of sexual release. This includes pastors, priests, bishops, single, married, male, female, those who are promiscuous and those who strictly speak out against it. Hell is not just fire and brimstone. Hell is being alone, having no intimacy or sexual release.

  18. Tanya

    My name is Tanya i live in USA were Divorce seems to be the other of the day,i was married to my husband Lawson for 18 years and we were living happily together with our 3 kids and all of a sudden their came this sad moment for the first time in my life i curt my husband having an affair with a lady outside our marriage before this time i have already started noticing strange behavior like he used to spend some time with us, comes home early after work but since he started having an affair with this lady all his love for his wife gone and he now treats me badly and will not always make me happy.I had to keep on moving with my life never knowing that our marriage was now leading to divorce which i can not take because i love Lawson my husband so much and i can’t afford to loose him to this strange Lady,i had to seek a friends advice on how i could resolve my marriage problem and make the divorce case not to take place and my husband live this Lady and come back to me again having heard my story my friend decided to help me at all cost she then referred me to A spell caster named Priest Ajigar, my friend also told me that Priest Ajigar have helped so many people that were going through divorce, and also finding possible ways to amend their broken relationship. To cut my story short i contacted Priest Ajigar and in just four days after the spell was done my husband left the other lady and withdrew the divorce case all till now my husband is with me and he now treats me well and we are living happily together again all appreciation goes to Priest Ajigar i never could have done this my self, so to whom it may concern if you are finding difficulty in your relationship or having problems in your marriage just contact Priest Ajigar he is Powerful and his spell works perfectly,i am somebody who never believed or heard about spell but i gave it a try with Priest Ajigar and today every thing is working well for me and if you need his help his email is (

  19. Sarah Marisan

    my heart is so wounded, I explicitly told my then fiancé now husband that I n ver wanted to be in a sexless marriage. I clearly expressed to him the importance of this to him before we were married. I explained that once a week is just sad and depressing. He seemed happy to agree, but now 6 years into the marriage, I’m lucky if we have sex 2 x a week. There’s little to no playing (which I adore and need very much) I feel my heart is breaking and I struggle with temptation so very much, which I’ve been very clear to him saying, “you put me at risk when you neglect me in this way”
    And yet here I am again.
    I feel so vulnerable. Vulnerable to desiring other people to satisfy myself and “teach him a lesson!!”
    But I know I cannot and with Gods help, I will not.

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